Saturday, September 14th, 2019

To My Birth Siblings,

I’m not really sure how to start this...but I’ve had ya’ll on my mind
a lot lately. To be honest, I always wondered if ya’ll exist, but I didn’t
know for sure until about 5 years ago. I’ve been locked up since 2010 and
am currently serving a double life sentence, but I have faith that I won’t
die in prison and will see daylight. From the paperwork my adopted
mother sent me, it’s at least 6 of ya’ll…3 brothers and 3 sisters, and all of
you are around my age. The paperwork said that my 3 sisters were put up
for adoption as well, and I think it said that 2 of my brothers went to our
grandmother and our mother kept one of you. The adoption paperwork
gave me all of your birthdates, too…pretty much everything except ya’ll
names.
I wonder if we all look alike, or how many different fathers we all
have, or if we act alike, or have been through similar situations in life…or
if my 3 sisters went to the same adoption agency and got adopted by the
same family or if you got split up or were never adopted and got raised by
the system until you were 18. I wonder if you are all still alive, how many
of us there are in total (our momma was only 28 when she had me, and I
was the 7th child. I would have been the 9th, but she had a miscarriage with
a set of twins), if there are any more of you who are incarcerated, what all
your back-stories are, etc.…It would be so crazy to me to come across someone who might
look and act just like me. I often wonder how strong our mother’s genes
are, in a sense of if we all have some noticeable attribute of hers, like her
eyes…or her lips...To be honest, I’m not really all that concerned about
who my blood father is…just being real. Regardless of what his story
might have been, I pretty much just look at him like most dudes in the
hood…someone just looking to kick it and have a good time, then sh*t got
real and he burned out. Anyway, I be hoping that ya’ll think and wonder
about me as much as I do about ya’ll…or if any of ya’ll still have contact
with our momma…or if ya’ll even know that I exist in the first place…or
if I’m the last missing link to complete the entire group of us knowing
each other. I also want to know what paths you all took in life, how many
kids you all have, if your lives were affected in any way by being
separated from our mother (especially my sisters, having been put up for
adoption like me).
I’ve made numerous attempts to try to get my original birth
certificate (they passed a law in Illinois in 2012 to where I can get access
to it now), but it’s been a difficult process to go through while incarcerated
because DOC has their own type of birth certificate application that they
want you to use…and most caseworkers don’t understand that I have to
use the application my adopted parents sent me because the one DOC
gives me won’t get me my original birth certificate; it will just be a copy
of the regular one they already have on file, which has my adopted parents
names on it. I really would like to find her, though…and you all…so that
at least I can know where I came from, feel me?
Although I was provided with an extremely good life due to being
adopted by a loving, caring family, I’ve spent the majority of my life
feeling as if I was just created in a lab or something because I don’t know
where I came from. I’ve spent my entire life pushing away people who
have attempted to get close to me, and self-sabotaging good situations

because I felt unconsciously as if I wasn’t worthy of anything good and
that people would eventually abandon me anyway. Now that I’m an adult,
I feel that getting closure on where I came from will help me move on in
some areas where I have found myself to be stagnant.
I am definitely looking forward to meeting all of you. I know that
one day it will happen, and even though I know it will be an emotional
event, I know I will be grateful for it because I’ll finally be able to fill a
void that I’ve had my entire life. I’m going into the situation not really
knowing what to expect, but hopefully it will help bring more closure to
the situation for all of you as well.

Love,
Amir

P.S.
If any of you happen to be reading this and are looking for me, this is the
information that I know. I was born on May 22, 1986 in Rockford, IL at
Swedish American Hospital. My original first name was DeAndre and our
mother was born on August 4th , 1957. The other information I have about
her can be found in the letter I wrote to her and my birth father. Here are
the birthdates that I have for the 6 of you:
Brother: 9/29/84 - Sister: 12/6/82 - Sister: 11/23/81
Sister: 1/18/80 - Brother: 3/1/79 - Brother: 1/24/78

If any of you happen to be reading this, please get in contact with me…